Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
