i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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