uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
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