She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.