I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
