DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize