I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??