i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
