Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
