There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize
