Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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