$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
