WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
