If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
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Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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