I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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