He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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