I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
