She's JV to your varsity
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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