i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
