On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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