I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's shark week go big or go home
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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