I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
