after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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