We're facebook friends in real life
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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