No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just gargled with NyQuil
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
