Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
