nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
