we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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