I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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