you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
