Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
