Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
