Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
