After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
