he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
