Just mADE A PArabola og urine
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
