id be glad to
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
