the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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