windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
