oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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