It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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