Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
