i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
