dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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