My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I met the friendliest cop last night
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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