Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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