You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
