I wannas sexs uuuuu
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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