Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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