He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I have post one night stand depression
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
