Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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