i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
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One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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