I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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