im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
