I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You made out with two different species that night
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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