Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
