my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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