They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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