just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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