seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize