Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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