your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize