I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
