The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
